No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize