is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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