the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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