I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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