So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
