every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize