How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
