I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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