Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
