If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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