But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Your penis caused this!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
