This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
