I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
