I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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