She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
