yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize