I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
