U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
