there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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