You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your mouth is God's brothel.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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