So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
