Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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