Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
