walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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