So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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