it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
