Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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