umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
