Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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