My friends, they love my intelligence
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
