Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
