I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
