I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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