God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
