Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
