ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
