I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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