Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pappa wants mamma naked
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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