i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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