I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
