He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
