i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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