somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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