Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
