I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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