Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Randomize