do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
