whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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