You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
