I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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