it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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