my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
