I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
