I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
