so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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