if you like me you must not know who I am
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
