you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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