The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
