i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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