even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
