my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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