I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We need to feng shui this bitch.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
