Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
