I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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