Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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