I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
