You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize