You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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