do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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