I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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