"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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