An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
