OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize