I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
