just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
