my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
