ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
