4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
