I want to walk on stilts...naked
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
