Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
