Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
