margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
