covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
